The Art of the Deal with God by Donald Trump • Rambling Fever

Imagine this… Donald Trump, leader of the free world, brokering peace talks between Russia and Ukraine like it’s just another Manhattan real estate flip. Except the outcome doesn’t result in another high-rise hotel or golf course – instead, it’s about eternal life with Heaven as the ultimate destination.

Donald Trump is undoubtedly one of the best negotiators of our time. However, I’m not sure he fully understands the consequences of trying to negotiate with God. He seems unaware that you can’t bargain your way into Heaven.

Trump the Heavenly Negotiator

In a televised phone interview this past Tuesday (Aug 19, 2025), Trump linked his involvement in saving lives in Ukraine as some sort of fast pass into Heaven. Here’s what he said…

“If I can save 7,000 people per week from being killed – I want to get to heaven, if possible; I’m hearing I’m not doing well. If I can get to heaven, this will be a reason.”
Donald Trump talking with Fox & Friends in a phone interview

Honestly, it sounded less like a prayer and more like Trump was trying to sell God on a timeshare in Heaven. But that is Donald Trump. Elevator pitches are what he’s good at, and they’re part of what got him to where he is today. But is a good elevator pitch good enough to get him into Heaven?

Everyday Misunderstandings We All Buy Into

Throughout my lifelong quest to discover as many absolute truths as I possibly can – I’ve come to realize that there are many myths in life and lots of people buy into these myths and accept them as truths for themselves.

One absolute truth is that not all truths are absolutely true, even if you think they’re true for you.

Let’s take a look at a few everyday misunderstandings (that’s another way to say myth) that so many people buy into.

Swallowing gum takes 7 years to digest

This has to be one of the longest-running cons of school lunchroom scare tactics. While it is true that the human body cannot digest gum, it does not remain stuck in the system for 7 years. It passes through the digestive system relatively quickly and passes much the same way a metal coin would pass if you were to swallow one. In other words, if you swallow gum through your mouth, it exits the same way a nickel would… straight through, no 7-year lease agreement required.

Breaking a mirror = 7 years of bad luck

This superstition likely started with the ancient Romans. Like so many traditions or beliefs that came from ancient eras… this one is merely a superstition and is not based in reality whatsoever. As if the universe is keeping score with a FICO-esque system, where negative actions drop off after seven years. Go break a mirror right now. In seven years you won’t even remember it happened… unless you’re still picking glass out of the carpet.

Wishing on a shooting star makes it come true

While it is fun to dream about wishes coming true… this one is also nothing more than a superstition. It’s not like the Milky Way acts as a cosmic suggestion box and grants wishes to whomever happens to be staring at the night sky at the exact moment a shooting star flares across the sky. Challenge: Tonight, make a wish on a shooting star. Ask for something absurd – like a million-dollar bank error in your favor – and see how that turns out.

We’re all guilty of believing things that simply aren’t true. Trump’s Heavenly “deal” is just another form of a similar misunderstanding.

Mercy, Not Deals

Here’s the quiet truth-drop moment… the part where the sitcom laugh track cuts out and someone finally says the obvious thing. And this is based on one of the absolute truths that I have discovered in this lifetime. Heaven isn’t about the “deals we close” or the “good deeds we rack up.” It’s about mercy, faith in a man named Jesus, and what He already did… dying and rising again. Belief in these things is the only thing it takes to get to Heaven! It really is that simple.

Doing good deeds is a wonderful thing for believers to do. But it’s not what gets them to Heaven.

I don’t know what Donald Trump actually believes. But, based on his recent statements – he seems to think that racking up good deeds will ultimately get him to Heaven, a place he claims he wants to go.

In my opinion, it would be a shame if Donald Trump did not make it to Heaven after living such an extraordinary life here on Earth. Love him or hate him… he has led an amazing life filled with riches, fame, fortune, and power. I hope he doesn’t miss out on his free ticket to Heaven, all because he simply didn’t understand how to get there.

The Punchline of Heaven’s Contract

As I ponder Donald Trump and his divine business proposal with God, I find it humorous to compare it to everyday superstitions and myths. It’s like the guy who accidentally broke a mirror then went outside that night to watch for a shooting star to wish to avoid 7 years of indigestion from that piece of gum he inadvertently swallowed earlier in the day.

You can’t close the deal on Heaven with 7,000 lives saved, 7 wishes made, or 7 years of bad luck avoided. The deal’s already done… signed in blood, sealed in grace, and delivered free of charge. No lawyers, no paperwork, no seven-year waiting period. Just mercy. All that’s left is to believe, and maybe pick up a book to figure out some absolute truths along the way.